Money
is a very big part of a marriage. Having enough to spend, and to do the
things each wants to do, is important to both parties. When couples are
not able to do that, then other issues pop up in the relationship. When
husband and wife are not on the same page as far as family finances go,
other difficulties inevitably arise. Effective communication often emerges
as the most difficult obstacle to establishing goals and expectations,
and developing a financial plan.
Many
of us have been taught during childhood that discussing money is somehow
inappropriate. Couples must understand that it is not only appropriate
but absolutely necessary to managing finances in a marriage. Just as finances
must be planned in a business, they must also be planned in a marriage.
You must communicate in spite of any difficulty.
For
example, how do you get your spouse to understand that he or she will
need to curb their spending habits so that you both can begin putting
money away? There's got to be a viable agreement, because most couples
discover that a lack of money, a lack of spending control, or a lack of
fall-back savings eventually causes other problems in a marriage. Little
things grow into much bigger things. However, as emphasized by Daniel
Smith a noted financial expert cited in The Marriage Medics, future arguments
over finances can be avoided by simply communicating, creating an understanding
of expectations, setting objectives and agreeing on a financial roadmap.
The
Marriage Medics outlines the following financial plan of attack for couples
of any age:
1.
Stop living beyond your means.
2.
Treat the household like a business.
3.
Create an income-and-expense statement.
4.
Create a balance sheet.
5.
Create a budget.
6.
Figure out how to pay down your debt. Agree on a plan of action in which
you both share equally in cutbacks.
7.
Find ways to cut expenses.
8.
Go on a debt diet starting with the little stuff.
9.
Have only one credit card for your entire family.
10.
Celebrate when you pay off a debt. There are many resources for help in
creating family budgets and living within them.
For instance, Jim Miller, a Registered Investment Advisor, author of Retire
Dollar Smart, and the host of a financial advice radio show is an excellent
source. Visit his web site at:
http://www.retiredollarsmart.com
In sum, married couples have an important opportunity to plant the seeds
for a healthy marriage by simply talking with each other, being realistic
about expectations, and making that financial plan. Money matters!
Cynthia
Cooper, Ph.D., is a clinical psychotherapist and co-author of The Marriage
Medics which you can obtain via http://www.themarriagemedics.org.